


In which fleshdress' muses are not cooperative

by Esinde Nayrall (red_squared)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-11-26
Updated: 2005-11-26
Packaged: 2018-05-11 15:36:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5631874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/red_squared/pseuds/Esinde%20Nayrall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>See title.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In which fleshdress' muses are not cooperative

**Author's Note:**

  * For [flesh](https://archiveofourown.org/users/flesh/gifts).



> Complete crack!meta based on muses behaving badly. Originally posted [**here**](http://www.livejournal.com/users/fleshdress/49218.html?thread=1454914#t1454914).

"Can we go in? It's been ages!"  
  
"Do I look fat in this?" Severus asks, eyeing himself in the mirror.  
  
"No, but it makes your nose look big," James says heartlessly.  
  
"I don't understand!" Severus wails, reaching for the facial scrub once more. "I exfoliate four times a day, and use the recommended amount of moisturiser - why does she always go on about how _ugly_ I am?"  
  
"You don't have to listen to him," Draco says, approaching Severus ostensibly to offer sympathy, but more to elbow him out of the way so Draco can check his make-up in the mirror. "He's supposed to be dead, anyway."  
  
"Well, when I see the state the lot of you let things get to after I was killed, I'm grateful I'm not alive to have to put up with it," James says.  
  
"Hey!" Regulus yelps from underneath him. "You said you were grateful to having died so you could be with me!"  
  
"I say a lot of things," James grins, before applying himself to kissing the pout off Regulus' lips.  
  
"Harry, go into the other room if you don't mind," Lily says, her mouth pursing into a thin line as she moves to block her son's view of his father.  
  
"Mum! I'm old enough!"  
  
Lily's face turns purple with fury at being spoken back to. "HAROLD JA- "  
  
"Ow!" Harry squeals. "Don't _Harold_ me. I'm going, I'm going," Harry adds, pulling his best friend, Blaise, along with him.  
  
"I thought _Ron_ was your best friend?" Blaise asks pointedly.  
  
"That was when _she_ was dead," Harry says, gesturing at Lily. "Think I need two of them, yelling at me? Anyway, the author doesn't want to see you."  
  
"Molly never yells at you."  
  
"It's not the 'at'. It's the yelling. _Your_ mother doesn't yell."  
  
"No," Blaise agrees thoughtfully. "If you've upset her, you're generally made aware immediately. But, yes, it's always quiet."  
  
"I DIED DEFYING VOLDEMORT, YOU UNGRATFEUL -" Lily roars, following after her departing son.  
  
"I died defying Voldemort, too," Regulus says, a little petulantly. "I wish more people would remember that."  
  
"Yes, but you're far too fuckable for people to remember much more about you than the fact that you go 'Nnnnnghneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!' when they do _this_."  
  
"I hate - Nnnnnghneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! - you."  
  
"Fine, but when you're 'hating' me, can you do that thing with your - oh, yesssssssss."  
  
"Is she seeing anybody yet?" Sirius asks, entering from the main door with Lucius and Remus, and eyeing the door leading to the author's door warily.  
  
"Not yet," Severus replies, intent on his reflection while squeezing a whitehead. Draco jumps in alarm when he sees Sirius and sidles out of view behind Severus.  
  
"She'll see me," Lucius says smugly. "She _asked_ for me."  
  
"Yes, on one condition," Sirius says, undoing the sash of his robe and using it to gag Lucius. "Now, I -" he starts, before being interrupted by his brother.  
  
"Oh please, I'm so close, just- let me- _please_!"  
  
"Use both hands, Prongs," Sirius says, without turning around.  
  
"Nnnnnghneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"  
  
"Almost ready," Sirius says, striding over to Draco. "I believe that that is my kohl."  
  
"Daddy'll buy you more," Draco pouts.  
  
"He will if he knows what's good for him," Sirius says menacingly. "The stilettos, too. Come on, hurry up. _Yes_ , the skirt as well. If you've broken any of the sequins..."  
  
"You don't frighten me," Draco says stoutly, refusing to make eye-contect. "Can I give you your skirt back later? Only I'm not wearing any pants."  
  
"That's not my problem. Now get lost."  
  
"I wish you'd leave that sort of thing to me," Remus sighs, watching a pantsless Draco flounce off. "Nobody takes threats from a pretty boy in eye-liner seriously. _Especially_ other pretty boys in eye-liner."  
  
"Shut up," Sirius says, hexing Severus out of the way of the mirror so he can smudge his eye-liner properly before going back to Lucius and leading them to author's door.  
  
"What about me?" Remus asks, affronted.  
  
"We'll have to find a gag for you," Sirius replies.  
  
"I'm not wearing a gag!"  
  
"Well then," [](http://fleshdress.livejournal.com/profile)[**fleshdress**](http://fleshdress.livejournal.com/) says, opening the door to allow Sirius and Lucius in. "I'm afraid you'll have to wait until next Tuesday."

**Author's Note:**

> All comments and kudos are appreciated and treasured -- even (especially?) on a fic as old as this one!


End file.
